On Writing

I've always known that I'm a writer.  Always.  It's just what I do;  I think so much better through a pen & paper.

I've recently discovered that I'm a procrastinator.  And by recently, I mean senior year of high school.  All of a sudden, I started waiting until the very.last.minute. to do my assignments.  I haven't changed my ways since, and I'm starting to regret that.

A few minutes ago, I decided that my procrastination has stemmed from being a writer.
It's because I'm scared to write for a grade.
It's because I'm scared for someone else to mark up something that I put so much heart into.  I consider writing my art.  I sculpt my papers.  Each one (aside from a few particular essays I've written for digital media) must be excellently worded.  They become my babies.  So when someone comes after them with a red pen in hand, mama bear does not handle it well.

...Can you tell that I'm losing it?
Anyways, what it comes down to is I'm scared to write because, as a writer, I feel an intense pressure to make everything perfect.  My TA's know that I love to write.  And I believe that they judge me by that standard; they know what I'm capable of, and if I don't live up to it, that looks really bad for me.

It is my fear of being imperfect that keeps me from trying;  not laziness...not distraction.  Fear.


Does your fear of imperfection ever keep you from giving it your all?