Of Tears and Smiles

"But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation."
-Psalm 13:5

I typed in "salvation" in thesaurus.com. Some of the synonyms: escape, keeping, emancipation, lifeline, preservation, release, restoration, safekeeping, sustenation. Today, my heart breaks for my cheerleading coaches/friends. They have lost their dear friend to cancer. Carrie was a faithful servant of the Lord and I'm sure she is having an awesome time in Heaven right now, but that bit of comfort is usually not enough to heal the massive hole left in the hearts of those whom she has impacted.

Death is such a weird situation for believers. We are expected-even commanded-to rejoice. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" We can celebrate the life that is passed. We can think the good thoughts of how happy our loved one now is. There is no pain, no suffering. Carrie is now part of a constant, eternal celebration. We should be so happy for her! C.S. Lewis has written, "Has this world been so kind that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." I can say with a pretty large amount of confidence right now that she did not leave this life with regret. What she has now is far better than we can ever imagine- her heart is finally able to participate in the activity that we are made for. She is in the place where she can rejoice in the Lord and worship Him without ceasing. As I have mentioned before, I am reading Desire by John Eldredge. He writes a lot about how our life on earth is filled with a constant longing to be in the presence of God. He created us to be that way. Carrie now has her heart's true desire-we should rejoice in that.
However, we are also faced with great pain. Our insides are at war- we want to celebrate, but we are filled with grief. Some beautiful Christian confusion right there. This is where the Lord can manifest Himself. We are forced to remember the steadfast love we have in Him. We run back to our Rock, and crawl into His welcoming lap. Here is where we find comfort. We find keeping. We find our lifeline. When we are placed in situations in which we dread waking up to face another day, He is waiting there with open arms to wrap us up in a hug that satisfies us like no other.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." This verse is challenging me at the moment because death is the most prominent time in which both weeping and laughing are mixed together; mourning and dancing become part of the same event. The separation is broken- the distinct times blend together to become one blurred hurricane of emotion. So, God: WHAT DO WE DO? Our friend is now at home with You-we are happy! But we are also devastated- our hearts hurt so much. As Christians, we must find a delicate balance of two extreme emotions. I thank God for Carrie's life, the amazing witness that she was, and the amazing witness that her life continues to be through her friends and family. I also pray that He will provide comfort in a way that only He can, that He will begin the process of healing when the time is right, and that He will help everyone affected by Carrie to bring glory to Him through their rejoicing and celebration of her life.