When Our Desire Paralyzes Us

Recently, I have been reading Desire, by John Eldredge. It's a good read- I highly recommend it. In it, he writes of the sources of desire and our journey to find what we seek. Thus far, Desire has led me to question what it is that I truly desire, and it has been a very intense discovery process. I have found out things about myself that I previously had no idea of- I have found not only breaks in my heart that I thought were healed, but moments in which my heart was truly in a state of bliss- you know, those times when you just know that this is what you were made for.

Reading has reminded me of a character from Greek mythology- Tantalus. This is what Wikipedia has to say about him:

"Tantalus's punishment for his act, now a proverbial term for temptation without satisfaction (the source of the English word "tantalise" - US "tantalize"), was to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches. Whenever he reached for the fruit, the branches raised his intended meal from his grasp. Whenever he bent down to get a drink, the water receded before he could get any."

Tantalus had a strong desire. He needed food and water, yet regardless of how many times he tried, he could never get it. To me, this is such a strong metaphor for humankind. How often do we get caught up in wasting our time and efforts searching for what we think we desire? Sometimes, our attempts are simply futile. No matter what, we aren't going to get what we think we need. In this case, it's like the parable of the barren fig tree. We may just have to cut it down.

Right now, I am in a predicament. I have a strong desire...and today was the first time I could give it a name-forgiveness. I am seeking forgiveness. My heart is yearning for it. But at the moment it seems as though it will never, ever come. So what do I do? It's tough. Bridges have been burnt to the point of no recovery. Obviously, it's time to let God handle it. Today I repped one of my favorite verses on my wrist- Exodus 14:14- "The Lord himself will fight for you." However, before I can let God do the fighting, I have to surrender to him. So please help me and back me up with prayer in giving full control of my situation to God. It would be greatly appreciated :)